In the early days of my executive career, I recall an instance when I sidestepped conflict.
During a team meeting, a colleague, presented a strategy I privately disagreed with. Instead of voicing my concerns, I chose silence, believing it would keep the peace.
Over time, we progressed down a path that I felt was completely divorced from with the outcomes we were looking to achieve. My quiet dissent transformed into quiet resentment.
The strategy, unsurprisingly, hit roadblocks. The fallout was significant not just for the project, but for my confidence.
My avoidance hadn’t just jeopardized the task at hand, but it had chipped away at my self-worth and credibility.
I’d lost a valuable opportunity to guide my team, all because I chose temporary comfort over enduring clarity. I didn’t trust my instincts nor my expertise. I was profoundly disappointed in myself.
Navigating corporate leadership is no small feat, especially for women executives. Along this journey, you may find yourself in a trap of conflict avoidance.
Let’s discuss how dodging uncomfortable conversations comes at a significant cost to you.
Find the full transcript and other resources for women leaders at http://www.livingwhileleading.com/12
Why Do Women Executives Shy Away from Conflict?
Many women grapple with a deeply ingrained hesitation towards conflict. Whether it’s age-old societal teachings, fear of undue labels, or inner battles with self-worth, the reasons are varied but universally impactful.
Let’s dissect the factors compelling women leaders to steer clear of necessary confrontations and their implications.
- Cultural Conditioning: From a young age, many women are conditioned to be peacekeepers and harmonizers. Society frequently instills the belief that being ‘agreeable’ is synonymous with being ‘good’. Over time, this morphs into an aversion to confrontations, even when they’re necessary.
- Fear of Backlash: Women in leadership roles often tread a delicate balance. The concern of being labelled “difficult” or “too emotional” when confronting issues is real. This societal stereotype can deter you from addressing problems directly.
- Self-Doubt: Despite your accomplishments, you may wrestle with doubt that you don’t belong. You fear that conflict might spotlight your perceived inadequacies.
Women IT Executives Pay at Price for Dodging Difficult Conversations
Conflict avoidance can seem like a peacekeeping strategy. However, this approach harbors hidden repercussions that can subtly undermine both you and your organization.
Let’s unpack the consequences of dodging crucial confrontations.
- By sidestepping disagreements or differing viewpoints, your organization will miss opportunities to refine ideas, discover flaws, or spark innovation. A lack of diversity of opinions leads to stagnation.
- Paradoxically, by avoiding conflict, you run the risk of straining professional relationships. Unaddressed issues can lead to resentment or misunderstandings. Over time, the very act of avoidance can become a source of tension.
- As a leader, part of your role is to address and resolve issues and guide your team towards success. Continual conflict avoidance can erode your team’s trust in your ability to lead.
The fact is that leadership isn’t just about leading during the easy times but more about guiding during challenging moments.
A Roadmap to Effective Conflict Resolution for Women Leaders
Diving into conflict is never easy, but mastering the art of confronting tough conversations is essential.
These 4 actionable strategies can be pivotal in transforming potentially volatile discussions into constructive dialogues.
- Preparation is Key: Before engaging in a difficult conversation, prepare. Understand the root of the issue, anticipate potential counterarguments, and clarify your objectives for the discussion.
This not only increases your confidence but ensures the conversation remains constructive.
- Practice Active Listening: During the conversation, prioritize listening. Conflict often arises from misunderstandings. By truly hearing the other party, you can better address their concerns, ensuring they feel valued and understood.
- Embrace Vulnerability: Remember, it’s okay to admit when you’re unsure or when you’ve made a mistake. Vulnerability can be a strength, fostering genuine connections and creating space for collaborative problem-solving.
- Seek Feedback Post-Conflict: After navigating a challenging conversation, seek feedback. How did you handle the situation? Could you have approached it differently? This self-assessment ensures growth and continued refinement in handling future conflicts.
It takes effort to unlearn the narrative that equates confrontation with conflict and conflict with negativity.
Confrontations, when approached constructively, are opportunities to learn, refine, and grow. By facing these conversations head-on, you not only bolster your leadership but create an environment that truly fosters collaboration and respect.
It’s time to shift your perspective. See the potential in conflict and empower yourself to confront and connect.
Remember, you’re the solution to claiming what’s important to you!
