I recently reflected on a time when I was tasked with planning a multi-day event for 500 participants from around the globe. It was scheduled to take place in January and its purpose was to celebrate the company’s successes and introduce the coming year’s sales strategy.
Organizing the event was no small task and had a lot of moving parts. I had to collaborate with sales leadership and product marketing to design the event agenda, content and messaging.
I identified, negotiated and purchased services from a variety of vendors including hotels, entertainers, caterers, transportation companies, etc. to support the event.
This event took months to plan and I even had to work through the Christmas holidays to meet the deadline.
It went off without a hitch and was a resounding success. The entertainment was amazing. The sales community was pumped up and motivated to sell!
A senior executive congratulated me on the success of the event and I responded by saying, “thanks, it wasn’t a big deal.”
What was I thinking?
Why did I choose to play small? Why did I downplay my achievement?
Find the full transcript and other resources for women leaders at livingwhileleading.com/3.
How Does the Paradox of Power Impact Women Leaders?
Of course, I shouldn’t have bored the senior executive with all of the minute details that went into coordinating this activity. But I could have articulated how much time and resources it took to plan it.
I could have mentioned that the participants rated the event as one of the best they had ever attended. Or even that the event expenses came in under budget.
My behavior was a classic case of the paradox of power. This refers to the phenomenon where women leaders feel like they have to downplay their achievements and play small to avoid being perceived as intimidating, aggressive or arrogant.
A binary exists that you have to be perceived as either competent or liked —but not both. When you ask for what you want, you’re labeled as domineering or ambitious.
Is it any wonder you play small?
Playing small can be a significant barrier to your continued professional growth.
The Real Cause of Imposter Syndrome in Professional Women
There’s lots of talk about imposter syndrome which effectively puts the blame on women for doubting their abilities and feeling inadequate.
I would like to challenge this notion by saying that imposter syndrome is a direct response to gender bias, mixed messages and double standards. Think about it.
- You’re judged more harshly than men for the same behaviors. This leads to you habitually downplaying your professional achievements to avoid being seen as too arrogant.
- You take less risks and hesitate making bold business decisions because you understand the consequences will be harsh if the expected outcomes are not achieved.
- You’re accused of not being assertive. However, when you assert yourself it’s offensive.
Women Leaders are Subjected to a Different Set of Principles
Gender bias and double standards have a significant impact on women leaders which manifests itself in you:
- Being seen as less competent or less deserving of your position.
- Constantly overcompensating for your perceived lack of leadership qualities.
- Avoiding being decisive, lest you be called bossy.
All of this limits your ability to lead effectively. Your exhausted from all of the additional work you put it. You feel isolated and frustrated.
What’s worse is that you talk to yourself negatively about your capabilities and value.
Working in this type of environment is not sustainable.
4 Strategies Executive Women Can Use to Play Big
You’re not broken and you don’t need to be fixed. The system that you work in was not designed with you in mind.
Continue to speak out against gender biases and double standards and advocate for more inclusive workplace practices.
Additionally, consider these 4 strategies to overcome the paradox of power:
- Cultivate a strong sense of self-worth and confidence. Step into your greatness and celebrate your achievements!
- Seek out endorsements from colleagues and leaders which can be used strategically as needed.
- Leverage organizational communication vehicles to amplify your achievements.
- Build a support network of other women in leadership positions. This community will understand your challenges and provide you with a safe space to share your experiences, receive support and advice.
You cannot single-handedly dismantle gender biases. But you can be the change you want to see.
Own your achievements! Amplify your awesomeness and set an example for the next generation of women leaders!
Remember, you are the solution to claiming what’s important to you!
